As an antidote to this horrible winter situation, and general pre-Spring Festival malaise, I need you to look at this: wah, the big, rough features of a Shandong countryside girl, all those orchards and fields and railroad tracks in her big, pretty eyes-- she's the girl selling deepfried fermented tofu with her mama at a stall near the train station, oooohhh I love it. You need a girl like her, boiling dong doufu and cabbage in the kitchen, laying down beside you every night with thick legs and fat, serious titties that are clean and soft as kittens.